


With Words

by almostalwaysdaydreaming



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, M/M, Multi, Other, Pining, Ryu has anxiety, Ryu's POV, See note in CH 4 for NSFW tags, TRIGGER OT3 - Freeform, basically spoiler free since I've only watched the anime and read a few rabbit chats, chapter 4 nsfw, the chapter lengths are a mess don't @ me, the fact that there are fewer than 20 TRIGGER OT3 fics is... a crime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:21:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24765325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/almostalwaysdaydreaming/pseuds/almostalwaysdaydreaming
Summary: “I guess, considering today’s interview, I’m curious about what your real type of girl is. You said you like all types, is that true?” Tenn said, eyes slowly parting from the television to meet Ryu’s.Ryu felt his face grow hot and he looked down. “Well, I—” Ryu wasn’t sure how to respond. This is what Tenn was wondering about? Tenn and Gaku both knew that he wasn’t great at interacting with women in general, especially if they showed interest in him. “Um, I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about it. I don’t think about girls that much, I guess.”“Then what do you think about?” Tenn asked, cocking his head to the side. “Boys?”
Relationships: Kujou Ten & Tsunashi Ryuunosuke & Yaotome Gaku, Kujou Ten/Tsunashi Ryuunosuke, Kujou Ten/Tsunashi Ryuunosuke/Yaotome Gaku, Kujou Ten/Yaotome Gaku, Tsunashi Ryuunosuke/Yaotome Gaku
Comments: 29
Kudos: 62





	1. Chapter 1

Ryu picked up his pace as he headed through the entrance of the dance studio , his athletic bag bouncing at his hip. His solo photoshoot had run a lot longer than expected, and now he was late to afternoon rehearsal. Ryu checked the time on his phone: 7:07 PM. He cursed under his breath, turning a corner and passed the dressing room, deciding it would be better to let Tenn and Gaku know he was there before changing. He slowed as he approached the room, and came to an abrupt stop upon hearing Gaku’s mildly irritated voice reaching through the door.

“What do you mean, Tenn? I thought that this was what you wanted!” Oh no, were they fighting again?

“It’s not that I don’t,” came Tenn’s calmer voice, which was a little harder for Ryu to hear through the door, “I just don’t think that it’s time yet.”

“Then when _will_ it be?” Gaku snapped back, only sounding more frustrated. “Are you satisfied with the way things are right now? Because I’m not.”

“Of course I don’t like it—”

“We _have_ to tell him eventually!”

“I know but-”

"He at least deserves _that_!”

Ryu’s stomach clenched, and he stepped away from the door, pulling his athletic bag further up his shoulder. They were talking about him, weren’t they? He turned quickly, heading back towards the changing room, pulling his phone out. He opened TRIGGER’s group chat and typed:

_Ryu: Just arrived. Going to change now._

As Ryu went through the door, he set his bag down next to his groupmates’ and took off his shoes. While he went through the motions of getting changed, he tried not to think about what the other two had been talking about. Despite that, he couldn’t ignore the way his stomach was tied in knots. He wasn’t sure what was bothering him more. Was it the fact that they were planning on telling him soon? Or the fact that they still thought he didn’t know? He knew that both of these things bothered him, but he felt like there was something more that was upsetting him, and he couldn’t figure it out.

His phone vibrated next to him.

_Tenn: Hurry up_

It didn’t matter; he didn’t have the time to think about it right now—he needed to get to practice.

Upon entering the room, Gaku stood at one corner of the room, scrolling on his phone, while Tenn sat in front of the mirror stretching. “Hey,” Gaku said, not looking up from his phone.

“You’re late,” Tenn added, dull irritation in his tone.

If Ryu didn’t know the two of them so well, he wouldn’t have noticed that anything was wrong at all. Both Tenn and Gaku were professionals, and were able to put away whatever was bothering them when it came to work (at least, most of the time, in Gaku’s case). But Ryu was still able to feel the slight tension in the room when he entered. Gaku’s eyes flicked from him to Tenn in a knowing manner before going back to his phone, and Tenn was stretching a little too forcefully.

Ryu, ignoring the odd behavior, gave them an apologetic smile. “Hi guys, sorry I’m late! My shoot ran longer than expected.”

“It’s fine,” Tenn said as he stood, returning Ryu’s smile, though only fleetingly. “Let’s just get started, shall we?”

Apparently (and luckily), Gaku and Tenn had decided that now wasn’t the right time to tell him about their ‘secret.’ As soon as the three of them finished warming up, they went straight into dance practice. This had to be one of Ryu’s favorite things he did for work, especially when it was just the three of them dancing together. His worries about the afternoon were swept away the moment the music started playing. When they danced together, it felt electric. When they danced together, Ryu felt an intimate connection to the other two that he had never experienced with anyone else before. It was as if they were sharing the rawest versions of themselves with him, and he was doing the same in return. And it was all expressed without words, which was all the better for Ryu.

No matter what happened between the three of them, when Ryu danced with Tenn and Gaku, nothing else mattered. It always brought him back to when they first met, and how their bond was created. He remembers Gaku, and how startlingly handsome he was, seemingly shaking reality with his movie-star worthy looks. He remembers Tenn, every part of him light and delicate, comparable to nothing less than an angel. He remembers how looking at them was so overwhelming. But, even then, he didn’t want to look away. Most importantly, he remembers their first dance, and the way it instantly connected them all. It had changed his life forever.

And even several years later, even with hundreds of practices under their belt, it didn’t feel any less magical now.

After practice, Ryu sat on the studio floor panting, taking large gulps from his water bottle. He was exhausted, but couldn’t help smiling. Nothing was better than this. “That was great!”

Gaku stood across from him, wrapping a towel around his neck and patting at the sweat on his forehead. “We seem to memorize new choreography faster and faster.”

“Don’t praise yourselves too much, there’s still several parts that need to be tightened up,” came Tenn. He stood to Ryu’s right, his arms bracing himself against one of the room-length mirrors, attempting to catch his breath. Ryu watched Tenn, looking for any signs that he had hurt himself. Tenn always pushed himself to his limits, whether in front of a crowd or not. Ever since that time he’d gotten terribly sick, Ryu had tried to look out for Tenn’s health when he wouldn’t do the job himself.

Ryu must have been watching him for too long, since Tenn caught his gaze in the mirror. He rolled his eyes and sighed, turning to him. “I’m fine, Ryu.”

Ryu opened his mouth to respond, then closed it. Instead, he grabbed the second water bottle he always carried with him and held it out to Tenn. “Here. You haven’t had anything to drink all night.”

“I’m fine, I don’t need it,” Tenn said dismissively.

“When’s the last time you had something to drink?”

Tenn turned away from him, hand on his hip, taking a moment to respond. “Lunch.”

“Tenn, take it. I know you don’t carry your own water.”

Tenn gave Ryu a sharp look, knowing that he’d been cornered. But his body language and expression softened quickly as he reached for the bottle. “Thanks.” He smiled and opened it, drinking deeply.

“Such a brat,” Gaku said, “always taking other people’s things.”

“Maybe I do it on purpose,” Tenn said, bringing the water bottle close to his lips again, making eye contact with Ryu. “Maybe I like taking Ryu’s things.” Tenn opened his mouth, his tongue slightly poking out as he tilted the bottle into his mouth, his eyes not wavering from Ryu’s. His slender neck stretched upwards, each swallow of water he took obscenely visible.

Ryu, having been mid-sip during this display, choked. He quickly turned his head away from Tenn, coughing into his arm, his cheeks burning for reasons other than an inability to breathe.

Gaku scoffed. “Definitely a brat, then.”

Ryu, still coughing into his elbow, watched as Gaku grabbed an extra towel and placed it around Tenn’s shoulders. He watched as Gaku’s hands lingered just a little too long on Tenn before letting go. Ryu felt his stomach clench up, the tension in his body from earlier coming back again.

“Are you alright?” Gaku asked, walking over to Ryu, reaching out his hand to Ryu’s shoulder.

“I’m fine,” Ryu said hoarsely, standing before Gaku could place his hand. He gave Gaku a weak smile, “I just accidentally breathed some water in.” Ryu grabbed his bottle heading for the door, “I’m gonna go ahead and change now. I’ll see you guys tomorrow!”

“Oh, okay,” Gaku said, slowly retracting his hand. “Good practice.”

“Good practice!” Ryu said with a wave, not waiting for Tenn’s response. He truly was tired—it had been a long day, and he didn’t want to deal with the unease in his stomach anymore.  
  
As the door shut behind him while he rushed to the changing room, Ryu shook his head, attempting to clear his thoughts. Somehow, it hurt a lot more seeing them like _that_ after they had practiced together.

...

A few days later, Ryu, Tenn, and Gaku were on set recording individual interviews for a nighttime program. Fans had submitted questions for the TRIGGER members to answer, and the most popular questions for each boy would be asked on the show. Ryu’s previous questions had had to do with his relationship with Gaku and Tenn, plus his preferred style choices.  
  
“Alright, we're down to your top three questions! Number three: What do you like to do on your days off?” the interviewer asked, revealing a card with the handwritten question.  
  
“Generally,” Ryu began, “I like to hang out with Tenn and Gaku. I’ll have them over at my place and I’ll cook dinner for them sometimes!” Ryu couldn’t help but think about how the three of them hadn’t done that in a _long_ time, and he suddenly couldn’t remember the rest of his well-rehearsed response. He slowly readjusted himself in his seat, attempting to not look frazzled as he frantically tried to think of _any_ other hobbies he had. “If they’re not available, I like to binge-watch a drama series I’ve heard about. I don’t have time to keep up with them on a weekly basis, so I try to watch it all at once when I get the chance.”  
  
“Very nice, that sounds like a day that anyone could enjoy!” she responded. Ryu sighed to himself internally, relieved that she didn’t seem to notice his slip-up. She looked down at the remaining cards. “Now, these last two follow a similar theme. Your fans seem to have something very specific on their minds!”  
  
Ryu smiled, already having a strong suspicion about where the interview was going. “I’m excited to hear them.”  
  
“Okay, number two: if you were to take a special someone out on a date, where would you go?” The interviewer flipped the card around, pointing it at the camera and giving it a lively wiggle.  
  
“Well, I think that would depend on what my special someone likes to do,” he said, leaning back in his chair, eyeing the camera, “but I do have a few secret places that I wouldn’t mind whisking them off to!” He punctuated the end of his sentence with a wink.  
  
The interviewer gave a squeal, “Ooh, how mysterious and scandalous! I can only imagine what it would be like!”  
  
Ryu gave a small chuckle in response, his hand fanning through his hair. He had been answering these types of questions ever since he’d started work as an idol, but somehow, they still made him feel a little nervous.  
  
The interviewer turned to the camera, “We’ve made it to our final question, the one that you all wanted us to ask Tsunashi-san the most~!” She took a moment to look down at the card and read it. “Let me tell you, it was worth the wait!” She turned to Ryu, slowly revealing what was on the other side of the card, “Tsunashi-san, what your fans want to most know about you is: What is your ideal type of girl?”  
  
Ryu wanted to combust, but feigned looking thoughtful for a moment instead. “My ideal girl?” He took a few more beats before responding, “I don’t think there is a particular type, I love all kinds of women! As long as she’s into me, it doesn’t matter!”  
  
The interviewer laughed, “As expected of Tsunashi-san, TRIGGER’s ladies’ man! I’m sure that there isn’t a girl in the world who wouldn’t be interested in you! That’s it for your questions. Thank you so much for being on the show!”  
  
“Thank you for having me,” Ryu said with a small bow from his seat. “Please continue to support TRIGGER.”  
  
The cameraman signaled that they were done filming, then the director thanked Ryu and called for Gaku to take his place in the chair. Ryu stood, thanked the director and crew and went back to the dressing room. Tenn was inside on the couch, watching the recording of the show from a small television. “Good job,” he said as Ryu entered.  
  
“Thanks,” Ryu responded, sitting down at the opposite end of the couch. He sighed to himself, staring in the general direction of the television, his mind wandering away from Gaku’s interview. Instead of thinking about how mortifying those questions were, and worse still, his embarrassing responses, he decided to focus on what he was going to do for dinner that night. Most importantly, though, he was trying to figure out how early he needed to get up the next day. That way, he could incorporate just the right amount of alcohol into his evening plans without feeling too terrible the next morning.

Ryu didn’t realize that Tenn had been talking to him until Tenn poked him on the shoulder. Ryu quickly turned his head to Tenn. “Sorry, what?”

Tenn gave him a small, inquisitive smile, which made Ryu’s heart skip a beat. And whose wouldn’t at a sight like that? “Are you distracted by something? What were you thinking about?”

“Ah, nothing really,” Ryu responded, “Guess I’m just a little spacey today! What did you say?”

“Nothing important,” Tenn said, eyes now on the television, his elbow on the couch’s arm and his chin resting in his hand. “I was just curious about how truthful you are in these interviews. You have to maintain your image, but sometimes I wonder what your actual responses would be.”

Ryu was surprised—Tenn very rarely acknowledged him or Gaku outside of a professional manner, stating time and time again that he had no interest in making friends with them. Ryu knew that Tenn didn’t really mean it, and when he’d say it more recently, it felt like Tenn poking fun at the way he used to be, and how much he’d changed since then. Still, he hardly expressed interest in them outwardly. Generally, the only times Tenn’s shell would break were when he was simultaneously exhausted and high off of the adrenaline of a particularly outstanding live performance, or on occasions when the three of them had the chance to be together in private. 

Ryu’s chest warmed at the thought of Tenn thinking about him, wanting to know more, and then actually opening up enough to _tell_ him so. Not wanting to miss this opportunity, he turned his body to further face Tenn. “What do you want to know?”  
  
“Dunno,” Tenn said, eyes slowly parting from the television to meet Ryu’s, “I guess, considering today’s interview, I’m curious about what your _real_ type of girl is. You said you like all types, is that true?”  
  
Ryu felt his face grow hot and he looked down. “Well, I—” Ryu wasn’t sure how to respond. _This_ is what Tenn was wondering about? Tenn and Gaku both knew that he wasn’t great at interacting with women in general, especially if they showed interest in him. “Um, I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about it. I don’t think about girls that much, I guess.”  
  
“Then what _do_ you think about?” Tenn asked, cocking his head to the side. “Boys?”  
  
Somehow, Ryu felt his face grow even hotter than it already was, and his mouth went dry. He could feel Tenn’s unwavering gaze as he waited for a response, and Ryu couldn’t handle its gravity. The only thing that Ryu was able to get out was a string of babbling as he struggled to figure out why Tenn was asking him these questions, how he might translate his answer into standard Japanese, and what his answer actually _was_ , or _should_ be. Tenn, seemingly unfazed by Ryu’s reaction, continued to stare, as if he would patiently wait for a coherent response for the rest of the afternoon.  
  
Suddenly, the door to the dressing room opened, causing Ryu to jump. It was Anesagi. “Boys, it’s time to go. Gaku’s interview is almost finished, and we were supposed to be heading to our next appointment about 5 minutes ago!” Her phone rang, and she picked it up, “What is it now? I’m quite busy, you know?” She made eye contact with the two, wildly gesturing for them to hurry up before rushing off in the direction of the set.  
  
Ryu turned back to Tenn, who looked slightly miffed and let out a small sigh. “I guess we can get back to this later.” Tenn stood from the couch, heading for the door. He turned the handle and looked back at Ryu, who was still stuck to his seat in shock. “Are you coming?”  
  
Ryu quickly stood and hurried after Tenn, hitting his shin on one of the spare chairs in the room, knocking it over. “Sorry,” he muttered to the chair under his breath, picking it back up and putting it back in place.

...

Ryu entered his apartment late that night. “I’m home,” he said, old habits leaking out of him through sheer exhaustion. In return, he didn’t receive the loud ‘welcome home’ his family would yell back at him when he lived in Okinawa, with a brother or two nearly body-slamming him into the wall as a greeting. His heart ached for them, for that, for not being alone at night. It was too late to call them to check in; they were probably all in bed by now.  
  
Ryu checked his phone for the time—it was definitely too late. He would have to skip his usual solo drinking if he wanted to get a decent amount of sleep. Ryu sighed, taking off his shoes and jacket, and headed to the bathroom to take a shower instead. His homesickness was a lot better now than it had been when he'd first started out as an idol. Getting closer to his bandmates helped a lot with that, and the addition of IDOLiSH7’s friendship made it easier to forget what he was missing. But some nights, he still couldn’t help but think about how his brothers were growing up without him, and how much they must be changing every day, while he was miles and miles away. Or, he’d think about all the hard work his father does—now, without any of Ryu’s help. His dad was getting older, and couldn’t keep up the level of hard labor that he’d been doing for so long. But thinking about these things also helped Ryu to remember why he was here, all alone, in his uncomfortably quiet apartment. It was to make sure that his brothers could go to college. It was to repay his father's debt. It was to make sure that the happy home he left behind could stay happy, and become happier.  
  
Ryu turned the water on, undressed, and stepped into the shower. He felt the warm water run down his body and sighed, the tension in his muscles slowly melting away. He went through the motions of washing up, his mind continuing to wander. It was times like these when he wished he was home, though. He needed someone to talk to. Tenn had never re-confronted Ryu about his unanswered question. The rest of the day went on like any other, almost as if the conversation had never even happened. Ryu was grateful for that, but also a little disappointed. Here Tenn was, asking Ryu personal questions, albeit _very_ personal questions, but still wanting to get to know him, and Ryu had froze.  
  
Ryu got out of the shower and toweled off, grabbing his toothbrush. To be fair, Ryu never really had a clear answer for that question to begin with. Growing up, he hardly ever had crushes. The only times he’d developed those kinds of feelings for other people was after he’d had plenty of time to get to know them. And for Ryu, those opportunities were few and far between. From high school up until he’d been scouted, he spent most of his free time helping out his father and taking care of his siblings. Once he became an idol, the people he interacted with became even more limited, as did his spare time. Through all that time, who he was attracted to had never been at the forefront of his mind.  
  
But the more his idol persona developed, the more Ryu began to feel uncomfortable with his lack of knowledge on the subject—on where he sat with his understanding of his own attraction. Idol-Ryu was so sure, so confident. But Regular-Ryu really wasn’t. The attention that he got from some of his more forward fans didn’t help. On many occasions, a fan caught him off guard, latching onto his arm, touching his chest, and practically begging him to take them to his room. Everyone seemed to think that he’d had those kinds of experiences before, and, considering the number of offers he’d received, shouldn’t he have at least taken up some of them by now? But he never wanted to, and he would always freeze, while either Tenn or Gaku ended up having to save him. When Tenn brought up the question earlier today, Ryu froze again, because he was worried that he didn’t even have an answer.  
  
Finally reaching his bed, Ryu put his phone on the charger, making sure his alarm for the next morning was set, and laid down on his back. He stayed that way for a few minutes, just staring at the ceiling. He was most concerned with why Tenn had even asked that question. Why had he been thinking about this? Had Ryu done something to make Tenn question his romantic interests? Or was he questioning him _because_ of his apparent lack of interest? Or was it something else? Then, Ryu remembered the conversation he overheard Gaku and Tenn having the other day.  
  
He smacked his forehead and covered his eyes with his arm, letting out a distressed groan. He felt like an idiot.  
  
They were planning on telling him soon. It made perfect sense for Tenn to ask him a question like that. To gauge his response. To see how he felt towards that stuff. To know if it was even safe for them to tell him. Ryu cursed to himself. How did he not think of it? He pulled his blankets up over him, turning to his side, hiding his face in his pillow. Did he accidentally give Tenn the wrong impression when he freaked out at his question? He couldn’t be sure. He thought of how he could possibly bring it up again, just to make sure that Tenn knew that their secret would be safe with him, and that Ryu would accept it. But he couldn’t think of a way that was subtle enough to do the job. And at the same time, he wasn’t really sure he wanted to.  
  
Ryu wanted Tenn and Gaku to tell him. He wanted them to feel like they could trust him. It hurt that they felt like they needed to hide it from him in the first place. But at the same time, a part of him couldn’t bear to think about it. He didn’t want to be told. He wanted it to all be in his head. He wanted to be as blissfully unaware as they thought he was. Because every time they shared a secret look, or their bodies unconsciously gravitated towards each other, Ryu’s chest felt empty, hollow, and his stomach would knot up.

Sometimes, like now, he wondered what they did together when he wasn’t around. Whose facade caved first the moment they had privacy? How close would they sit when no one else was watching? Whose hands wandered over the other’s? How well did their bodies fit together?

It wasn’t good for him, but he wondered until his brain couldn’t form cohesive thoughts anymore.  
  
He wondered all by himself, in an apartment that never welcomed him home in return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love IDOLiSH7 so much that it has brought me out of my writing rut.  
> A very big thank you to my beta readers, they saved y'all from so many Problems (TM).
> 
> Expect the rest soon, it's taking me a BIT to format it right since I haven't posted in years...


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Ryu woke up to a text.

_Gaku: Any plans Thursday afternoon?_

Ryu shot straight up in bed, his grogginess forgotten. Gaku wanted to hang out? It wasn’t completely out of the ordinary, but Ryu couldn’t help but wonder if this was about why Tenn and Gaku were fighting. The thing Ryu had been dreading being told.

_Ryu: No plans! What’s up?_

Ryu sighed, hanging his head down and dropping his phone on his lap. He would have to find out eventually. There was no use in lying about his plans, they wouldn’t believe him anyway, since they had each others’ schedule. All three of them happened to have that evening free.

Suddenly, Ryu’s phone started vibrating. Gaku was video-calling him. Ryu sighed, a smile growing on his face despite himself. This was an odd quirk of Gaku’s that Ryu couldn't quite understand. Instead of simply responding to a text, the moment Gaku knew that Ryu was near his phone, he would video-call him to give his answer instead. He also did this when Ryu didn’t respond fast enough to Gaku’s messages, and he wouldn’t give up until Ryu answered. He apparently did the same thing to Tenn, who would often threaten to change his number or block Gaku, but that never seemed to deter him. 

Ryu, aware that this wouldn’t end until he picked up, answered Gaku’s call.

“Hey,” Gaku said, looking, of course, perfect. His slightly damp hair framed his face, his chin resting on his hand as he stared into the camera. He was wearing a tight v-neck, and a thin silver chain necklace hung off of his neck, almost guiding one’s eyes down his exposed chest. Gaku smiled. “My God, look at your hair!”

Ryu patted at his impossible bed-head self-consciously, failing to tame it. “Yeah, I just woke up.”

“Do you sleep naked?”

Ryu looked down at himself, realizing how little he was wearing, and pulled his covers a little further over him. “No, I don’t! I usually wear underwear,” he said, giving a sheepish smile, deciding that showing Gaku his underwear to prove his point was probably unnecessary.

Gaku hummed in response, still staring lazily at him through the camera.

There was an awkward pause before Ryu cleared his throat. “Um, was there something that you needed?”

“Oh, right. Since you’re available Thursday, Tenn and I were wondering if you wanted to go to the park?”

“Yeah, sounds good,” Ryu responded. “What did you want to do while we were there?”

Gaku’s eyes turned from the camera. “I dunno. Talk? Maybe we can all bring something for a picnic.”

_Talk._ They wanted to talk? In the park? This had to be it, there couldn’t be any other reason. Ryu had the urge to decline, to say that he was busy. Instead, he smiled. “What should I bring?”

The two spent some time talking about what snacks and drinks they should have and their schedule for the week before Ryu, anxious to stay on schedule, suggested they bring the call to an end. At this rate, he would probably have to cut his morning run short. They said their goodbyes, and Ryu allowed himself several more minutes in bed to let the dread of what was coming consume him. 

Then, he went about his usual routine, stuffing his anxieties towards the back of his mind.

…

The rest of the week went by too quickly, but surprisingly smoothly. Ryu was pretty sure that Tenn and Gaku couldn’t sense his anxiety about their upcoming meeting. The two of them seemed to have also cooled down a little, not getting into their usual spats as the week progressed. However, Ryu did notice more soft expressions exchanged between the two, and how they seemed to generally gravitate towards each other in between their idol activities. 

Those gestures never failed to send a painful pang to Ryu’s chest.

Other than that, Tenn and Gaku behaved as normally as they usually did, with one exception. At one point, Tenn told Ryu personally while they were on set for another talk show that he was excited for their meetup. Ryu was shaken for the rest of the day. Under normal circumstances, Tenn wouldn’t have admitted to that. Generally, Tenn would have either come up with an excuse not to go, or would complain about what they had planned in the days that approached their hangouts. Ryu knew that Tenn usually ended up having a good time despite what he said, but to hear that he was actually excited? It was entirely different.

As the week progressed, Ryu became more and more anxious. He spent his days trying to act as normal as possible, and spent his nights rehearsing responses to different scenarios in his head. How should he respond if they asked if he knew? Should he tell them that he had already figured it out? Or should he feign surprise? He tried to gauge how they would react, and then tried to come up with the best possible solutions. Most importantly, he tried to make sure that his responses conveyed that he was happy for them. That they shouldn’t worry about it. He didn’t want them to think he was being insincere. However, instead of helping him to feel more at ease, it only left him with more dread and even fewer hours of sleep.

Thursday morning arrived, and Ryu was exhausted. Unfortunately, he happened to have the entire day off, so he didn’t have work to distract him. He tried his best to fill up the time. He went for a longer run that morning, going farther than he ever had before. Then, he went to the gym for an extensive workout. Bench presses, deadlifts, incline presses, bar curls… he exhausted the list of exercises he knew. He was drenched in sweat, and had gone through several water bottle refills. He ended the session only after every one of his muscles were screaming in protest to _any_ movement, let alone lifting. He had clearly overdone it—he would be sore the next day, which would poorly impact their dance practice. But he needed the physical exertion. 

Even after taking a very self-indulgent shower, it was only lunch at that point. The rest of the day was consumed by catching up on chores he hadn’t gotten around to earlier that week. He spent extra time working on his bathroom and kitchen, making sure to thoroughly scrub the floors and counters. Once his apartment was spotless, it was almost time for him to go. He left a little early so that he had time to run by the store to get the drinks he was in charge of bringing. He made sure to grab his mask—he didn’t feel like being recognized by fans today.

...

Ryu stood at the entrance of the park, his bag of drinks in hand. Whether he was ready or not, it was time. He had to face it at some point. He pulled his jacket closer to him, and headed into the park towards their meeting location. It was early spring, so there was still a chill in the air. Nothing was quite blooming yet, but you could tell that the trees and the bushes were on the precipice of exploding with new life.

Eventually, Ryu slipped his mask off, only noting a few older couples walking the paths. Good—he probably wouldn’t be recognized. He passed a small pond, and finally noticed two familiar figures among the trees. Tenn and Gaku were sitting on the ground, a big blanket beneath them. They had settled between two large trees that gave some semblance of privacy, and it was far enough off of the path for their words not to be heard by any passerby. As Ryu approached, his earlier resolve started to wane, and the pit in his stomach only grew. The closer he got, the more he realized he did _not_ want to do this. He did not want to hear it.

Gaku noticed him first, smiling and waving him over. Ryu returned the smile weakly, watching as he whispered something to Tenn. Tenn was frowning, but quickly turned his head from Ryu’s view, searching around for something in the bag he brought. They contrasted and complemented each other well. Gaku was dressed in black combat boots and a black leather jacket, while Tenn wore a white beanie and an oversized baby pink cardigan. They both looked stunning. 

“Come sit,” Gaku said, patting a space on the blanket in front of him. Ryu sat down, making sure to keep his shoes off of the blanket. He placed the drinks and cups he brought next to the other food items. Gaku and Tenn were sitting very close to each other, their legs touching. Ryu studied the pattern of the blanket beneath him, not quite able to meet their gazes. “How’s your day off been?”

“It was good,” Ryu responded. “I worked out and cleaned my apartment.” Ryu hoped they would get to the point before his stomach fell any further. 

“Are you all right?” Gaku asked, his head tilting down, attempting to meet Ryu’s eyes.

Ryu cursed to himself as his eyes immediately welled up with tears. It’s like that question was designed to make you incapable of keeping it together. He looked up, Gaku and Tenn looked back at him, worry written on their faces. He couldn’t take it anymore. “Look. I know, all right? I—I’ve known for a while now.”

Tenn and Gaku gave each other quizzical looks, but Ryu didn’t give them a chance to explain. “I wanted you guys to know that it’s fine! I—I’m totally cool with it—”

“Ryu—” Gaku started.

“I just didn’t want you guys to keep hiding it from me anym—”

“Ryu!” Tenn said sharply, cutting him off. Ryu looked over at Tenn, whose expression immediately softened, along with his tone. “Cool with what?”

“With—with you two being—” He dropped his head. It took a great deal of effort to finish the sentence, to say out loud something he hadn’t even said in his head yet, “together.”

Ryu tightly closed his eyes shut. He heard them adjusting their positions, most definitely looking at each other trying to figure out what to say next.

“Well,” Gaku said, “um, yeah, we are, but Ry—”

“How long?” He was right. He asked again, looking up at both of them, accusation raw in his voice. “How long?”

“A few months.”

At this point, he couldn’t stop the tears from falling. The last thread of hope that he didn’t even know he was clinging to was gone. He didn’t know why, and he didn’t know where, but something inside of him felt like it was being crushed. This was _not_ going in any of the ways he had rehearsed in his head. He was supposed to let _them_ tell him. He was supposed to be _happy_ for them. He was definitely _not_ supposed to cry. “I—I’m sorry.”

He wasn’t sure what to do. He aggressively wiped his cheeks. “I’m sorry.” He didn’t know it would hurt this badly. He wasn’t even sure why it did. He couldn’t run, he was going to be seeing them tomorrow, and the next day, for the foreseeable future. “I’m sorry.” How could he salvage this? He had _ruined_ it. He couldn’t think, he couldn’t breathe, and his body began to shake slightly. He was on the verge of panicking. The other two looked as if they were in shock, horrified by Ryu’s reaction. They both began speaking and reaching out to him at the same time.

“Oh my God, Ryu. But there’s—”

“Ryu, I’m so sorry. But it’s not—” 

They paused. Then, Tenn grabbed Ryu’s right hand, and Gaku grabbed the other. 

Ryu squeezed their hands tightly, and forced himself to focus on their touch. Gaku’s grip was firm and steady. Tenn’s hand felt small and soft, and his fingers were a little cold. Ryu took a shaky breath. He could hear a few birds chirping in the trees above them. He could feel the uneven ground beneath him. Gaku and Tenn were both still there. He was still there. He could still fix this.

The three of them were silent for a few moments more. “Ryu,” Tenn started, his voice barely audible, “we _did_ want to talk to you about that, but there’s more to it.” 

“If we had known how hard it was for you,” Gaku’s brows furrowed, and he shook his head, “how much you were hurting. We would have told you sooner. I am so, so sorry.” He squeezed Ryu’s hand tightly. “But, we’ve been struggling with—with how to explain it.”

“It’s true that Gaku and I have been together,” Tenn began, his cheeks growing pink, his voice still so soft, “but we very quickly realized that something wasn’t quite right. That something was missing, and… it didn’t take very long for us to figure out what.”

“Who,” Gaku cut in, “it’s _who_ we were missing. And that’s you.”

Ryu blinked, some of the hollow pain he was feeling inside turning to confusion. What did they just say? None of it was processing. It felt as if the gears in his brain had come to a full stop. He was barely able to register the fact that they had been sitting in silence for far too long, Gaku and Tenn were beginning to fidget a little. He needed to respond. The only thing he could manage was, “…Huh?”

“Look, we know it sounds crazy," Gaku said, his eyes shining, "but if you think about it, it makes perfect sense. TRIGGER is so incredible _because_ of the three of us. None of it would work if one of us was missing.

"When we're together, when we dance together, when we sing together, it feels better than anything I've ever felt. I've never been closer to anyone before. And I couldn't help but want more, to _be_ closer. And I thought—well, I _hoped_ , that you felt the same. When Tenn and I took the next step, it felt so right, so natural. But it still wasn't complete.

"I know there's risks. But we've been through so much together, I know we could work past anything that might come up. TRIGGER was the best thing that could have happened to me, and I would do anything to protect it—to protect you guys."

"This is all only if you want to," Tenn added quickly, looking away. "We would totally understand if you don't. I never did get an official answer to that question I asked before, so we’re not even sure if you… you know.”

Of all the potential situations Ryu had rehearsed in his head, of all the sleepless nights he spent so that he could be ready for today, he would have never come up with this. He had even considered the dark possibility of them wanting to disband TRIGGER because it wasn't working between them. But not this. Never this. He looked back down at their hands, which were still entwined. Ryu couldn’t help but notice how pale their hands were in comparison to his own. “Okay… So you two are together? Like, romantically?” He said slowly, trying to piece together what they just told him.

“Yes,” Gaku affirmed.

“But you two also want me to be with you? Romantically?”

“Yes,” Tenn said, Gaku nodded.

Ryu allowed himself to think what that would be like, and immediately felt his face burning up. He couldn’t believe they thought about _him_ that way. “You guys want to kiss me and stuff?”

Tenn pulled his hand from Ryu’s and covered his face and sighed, his cheeks as bright as Ryu’s probably were. Gaku chuckled, shaking his head, a faint pink now appearing on his cheeks. “Yes, Ryu. We want to kiss you… and stuff.”

Kissing Gaku. Kissing Tenn. Just the thought sent his head spinning. These were things he had never thought about. They didn’t feel wrong—in fact, they felt quite the opposite—but it was a place that he had _never_ let his brain wander to. Because it couldn’t happen, because it wouldn’t happen, and he would’ve been a fool to have ever thought otherwise.

But here he was, and here they were, sitting in front of him, waiting for an answer. He cared deeply about the both of them, that was undoubtedly true. And the thought of Gaku and Tenn together, without him, was enough to send his mood spiraling down instantly. “I—,” he began, a little unsure. “I thought that I was upset because you guys were hiding it from me, keeping it a secret. And I was. It definitely didn’t feel good.” Had what he’d been feeling this whole time been jealousy? “But now, I don’t think that was the biggest reason.”

He paused a moment, taking a big breath. “I think that I would like it—I would like to try it, at least,—um, dating,” he managed to fumble out. His heart was racing so fast. He _liked_ them. It made so much sense. That’s why he had been so miserable, and why he couldn’t think about them like that. He couldn’t believe that it took this long for him to realize—that it took Tenn and Gaku confessing to him.

The looks of relief on their faces were enough to make Ryu want to apologize for taking so long to answer. Instead, Ryu squeezed Gaku's hand, and he squeezed back harder, smiling beautifully. He heard Tenn sniff and he looked over to see him wiping his cheeks. "Tenn, are you alright!?"

Tenn put a hand in front of Ryu, the other still wiping his eyes, "I'm fine."

Gaku put a hand on Tenn’s shoulder. "He was really nervous about telling you."

Tenn shoved Gaku, looking incredulous, despite himself. "Shut up! You were nervous too, you ass!"

Gaku laughed. "Yeah, maybe a little."

Tenn rolled his eyes, wiped his nose and looked down. “I’m glad. I’m glad that we finally told you.” 

Ryu smiled at the both of them, still in utter disbelief. He was only 70% sure at this point that he wasn’t dreaming. They had been nervous to tell him? Were they worried that _he_ would reject them? For so long, Ryu felt like he was the one who was on the outside, the one who wasn’t wanted. None of this felt real.

“Well, it would have happened sooner, but Tenn kept insisting that we wait.” Gaku smirked, nudging Tenn’s shoulder.

“It’s not my fault that your heart is bigger than your brain! This kind of thing should be thought through, not just blurted out on a whim!”

That reminded Ryu of something he had been wondering for a while now. “How did you two end up getting together in the first place?” It seemed like something neither of them would admit to first. With the way that they bickered all the time, admitting their feelings would be like admitting defeat.

“Well, Tenn, you want to tell Ryu how it happened?” Gaku asked cheekily. Ryu could tell Gaku was teasing him, so it must have been embarrassing—at least, to Tenn.

Tenn shot Gaku a very dirty look, then tilted his head up haughtily. “Well, it could be described as spur-of-the-moment, a lapse in judgement, unprofessional, a mistake…”

“Hey, c’mon!” Gaku cried. “You can’t say that you regret it, though. It all worked out, didn’t it?”

Tenn didn’t respond at first, then shook his head and sighed. "Yeah, for now…"

"We've talked about this," Gaku said a little more gently. “If something happens, we'll work it out. We'll get through it."

Ryu nodded, wanting to soothe any and all of Tenn’s worries, but now that he had mentioned it, he couldn’t help but think about all the ways that this could go wrong.

Tenn pursed his lips, clearly not convinced, but not wanting to talk about it any further. “How did you find out about… Gaku and me, anyway?”

“Uh, well,” Ryu scratched the back of his head. “Nothing in particular stood out, but I guess I could just feel something was different between you two pretty much as soon as it started. You seemed… closer. Later, I did notice that you stood together more often, and you seemed to have a lot of private conversations that stopped the moment I came near…”

Gaku’s expression was unreadable, but Tenn looked mortified. “You knew for that long?”

“I don’t think that anyone else has noticed, though,” Ryu said quickly, attempting to ease Tenn’s worries. “I just know you guys so well, and…”

Tenn placed a hand on Ryu’s cheek, stopping him from rambling any further. “Ryu, I’m really sorry that we didn’t tell you sooner. You must have felt so alone.”

Gaku nodded, “I can’t imagine having to carry that all by yourself.”

Ryu felt his eyes tear up again. Tenn and Gaku quickly pulled Ryu to them, their heads resting on his shoulders. Ryu buried his face into them, crying, as he allowed himself to think about all the time he had spent with a pit in his stomach, isolated, without them. He was so relieved that it was over, and that it had turned out so much better than he had ever hoped for. “I just wanted to talk to you guys normally again.”

Gaku rubbed his back slowly, whispering apologies. Tenn remained a little stiff, but he wasn’t trying to let go, his grip on Ryu’s back tight. They remained that way for a while, even after Ryu had stopped crying. It felt so nice being held by them. He felt warm, despite the chill in the air. He breathed deeply, smelling them. Gaku smelled strongly of some expensive cologne, and Tenn smelled faintly sweet, like vanilla. He didn’t want to leave this space, this moment. But then he remembered that he would likely have many more chances to do this in the future, and his chest filled with a warmth that he hadn’t felt before.

Eventually he pulled away and gave them a small smile. “I brought apple juice,” he said, unsure of how to break the silence.

Tenn smiled at him and Gaku laughed. “I brought soba,” he said.

After that, they didn’t talk about anything else heavy. They just ate, joked, and laughed. It felt more normal than it had in months, like nothing had changed. But everything had changed, and for the better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2! I wondered why there weren't any love confession fics for this tag, and I now understand why... writing them is hard ;)  
> It is also my duty to bring to this fandom my headcanon that Gaku 100% video-calls his friends at any chance he has. This man desperately wants Human Connection and is just *so* awkward about it (he gives off big "only-child" vibes). Gaku can't understand why anyone would be uncomfortable video-calling at any given moment of the day because he doesn't realize that people (unlike him) aren't beautiful and photo-ready at all hours.  
> I am a member of the Oppress Gaku Yaotome Club (Tenn you are an excellent president), because despite him being arguably the cheesiest, stupidest, and nerdiest character in the series, every ridiculous thing he does just happens to work out in his favor (I love him and am secretly jealous, he is living his best disaster bisexual life).  
> I'm considering writing a bonus chapter on how Gaku/Tenn happened because you guys were robbed of an answer and I actually have.... ideas...  
> This is the shortest chapter, the next two are going to be significantly longer... just a heads up!  
> Everyone who wrote sweet comments/bookmarked/gave kudos on the first chapter: thank you so much! It means a lot. <3  
> And another big thank you to my beta readers :)


	3. Chapter 3

A few days after their meeting in the park, Tenn came over to Ryu’s apartment unexpectedly to give him what Gaku referred to as ‘The Talk.’ It mostly entailed how careful they needed to be, and some basic rules that Tenn thought made sense:

First, no text messages could be sent between them that ever explicitly referred to anything romantic happening between them. If something needed to be said over text that was extremely important, it needed to be discreet, but also immediately deleted from all phones as soon as it was read.

Additionally, no photos were to be taken that showed any of them in any manner other than platonic. Any pictures of them that  _ were _ taken had to be postable for the Internet, so as not to draw attention if someone were to see their camera roll.

Tenn stated that TRIGGER’s image did allow for quite a bit of leeway with touching and flirtation, but those should only be used appropriately in the public eye, such as on television or on stage. They couldn’t behave in that way when they weren’t in front of a crowd or in some sort of function where playing up their personas wasn’t appropriate. This meant they had to act as if nothing had changed when interacting with other staff or idol groups.

Tenn finished his speech with two more points. First, they couldn’t do anything romantically-inclined together unless it was in private, ideally at someone’s apartment. 

Finally, they were still  _ never _ allowed to come over to his apartment. It was still, and would always remain, off-limits, no exceptions. 

Ryu resisted the urge to pull out a notepad and paper, his head spinning with how well Tenn had thought this through. The speech alone spiked his anxiety about this situation to a whole new level, and he was terrified that he might somehow let their secret slip. 

But it made sense. 

They needed to be careful .  _ Very _ careful.

As Tenn was preparing to leave Ryu’s, he turned and asked, “When you get drunk, do you spill secrets?”

“Oh, uh, no. At least, not that I can remember!” he replied, a bit sheepish.

“Well, please be careful about how much you drink when you’re around others, especially IDOLiSH7. You can get quite carried away.”

“Okay, you’re right. Sorry!”

Tenn stared at him for a while, then broke into a smile, shaking his head. “What am I going to do with the two of you?”

Ryu just smiled back at him, his heart skipping a beat. Tenn gave him a quick hug and left for the night.

As soon as Ryu sat down to watch some television, his phone began vibrating. It was Gaku, video-calling Ryu again. Ryu grinned, and quickly answered the call.

“Hey, handsome,” Gaku said, giving Ryu a wink.

Ryu immediately dropped his phone onto the couch, too embarrassed to look at Gaku through the camera. “ _ Gaku… _ ” he groaned.

Ryu could hear Gaku’s laughter coming from the phone. “Too much?”

Ruy didn’t respond, but brought his phone back up to his face, noticing how pink his cheeks were in the small front-facing camera.

“Do you have any plans tomorrow night?” Gaku asked, staring intently at Ryu.

Ryu thought for a moment. “No, why?”

“Do you want to come by my place for soba?”

“Sure, I’d love to!” Ryu said with a huge grin.

“Does 7 work for you?”

Ryu nodded, feeling warm all over.

“Great! I’ll be counting down the minutes,” Gaku said, his eyebrows giving a suggestive wiggle.

Ryu and Gaku talked for another twenty minutes about how their weeks had gone and their schedules for the following day before Gaku said goodnight. Once they hung up, Ryu just sat there for a moment, butterflies fluttering in his stomach. An evening with Gaku? A  _ date _ ? He suddenly couldn’t wait for tomorrow to come. He wondered what that would entail. What were they going to do? However, the more he wondered, the more his excitement turned to worry. What did Gaku  _ think _ they were going to do? 

Ryu’s concerned thoughts quickly turned into an anxiety-fueled session of internet searches (in an incognito tab, of course) about dating, first dates, second dates, kissing, kissing techniques, polyamory, and advice for polyamorous relationships. Once he reached the page ‘Having Sex with Another Man for the First Time,’ he quickly closed the tab, deciding that he should stop before he freaked himself out too much.

He sighed, putting his head in his hands. What had he gotten himself into? He had no idea what he was doing. Nothing in his life could have prepared him for this. Both what he’d learned about relationships in school and the experiences he had gathered from the roles he played in dramas only ever involved him with a woman. None of it ever entailed being with another man, let alone  _ two _ . Pairing that with the fact that Ryu had never been in a relationship before… he felt completely overwhelmed. Gaku had told him before that he didn’t really have a lot of experience himself, but he and Tenn had to have been doing…  _ things  _ for a while now, and Ryu felt like he was coming into this late and underprepared.

At the same time, it wasn’t as if Ryu was totally innocent. He’d definitely had  _ those  _ sorts of thoughts before, and would act on them from time to time in the privacy of his own apartment. And recently, these thoughts may have gravitated more towards his groupmates, but thinking and fantasizing about sex was completely different from the actual deed. 

He knew that much, at least.

Eventually, Ryu switched off the television. He’d never ended up turning on the show he’d planned on watching. He decided to go to bed rather than spend another night up worrying himself with things that may or may not happen.

… 

The next evening, Ryu found himself in front of Gaku’s apartment a few minutes before 7. He tried not to be nervous, he really did. Instead, he spent a few minutes pacing, a high-quality 6-pack of beer in his hand. He could do this. He shook himself and stood in front of the door, preparing to knock. It was just Gaku, after all.

The door swung open with Gaku on the other side of it, an amused grin on his face. “Were you planning on walking around all night?”

Ryu blinked. “Uh...”

“You’re not exactly the quietest person, you know? I could hear you pacing.”

Ryu laughed, embarrassed. He was definitely  _ not  _ starting off on the right foot. “Sorry.”

Gaku moved from the doorframe, inviting Ryu in. Ryu stepped in and took off his shoes. “How was your day?” Gaku asked, reaching to take off Ryu’s jacket.

“It was good,” he responded, feeling his cheeks warm up at Gaku’s gesture. Ryu let him pull his jacket off, very aware of the feeling of Gaku’s hands as they moved down his arms. “How was yours?”

“Good,” Gaku said as he hung Ryu’s jacket. “I spent the whole day looking forward to tonight.”

Ryu smiled at him, trying not to let his nerves get the best of him. “I did, too.”

“Well, sit, I thought that we could eat and watch a movie or something. I’ll go grab the soba!”

“‘Kay,” Ryu said, sitting down on the black leather couch in front of the television. He placed the beer he’d brought on the table in front of him, took one out for himself, and drank it deeply.

“It’s a shame that Tenn was busy tonight, but I didn’t want to wait to hang out again,” Gaku said as he came back with several boxes of take-out, placing them on the table before sitting down next to Ryu. “Besides,” he reached for the remote, turning on the television to a streaming app before looking over to him with a wink, “I figured that this could count as some catch-up, since I’ve had so much more time with Tenn.”

Ryu laughed, excitement and anxiety churning in his stomach at those words.  _ What  _ were they going to catch up on? “Yeah, maybe. As long as Tenn doesn’t mind.”

“Don’t worry, I checked in with him about it. Here,” Gaku handed Ryu the remote, “pick out something to watch, I forgot chopsticks.”

While Gaku was gone, Ryu stared at the television screen, scrolling through potential movies without really looking at them. He took another large drink of his beer. It was almost empty already. When did he drink all of it? He couldn’t be sure. All he knew was that he was starting to sweat, and he wasn’t really hungry anymore.

“Anything?”

Ryu jumped, not having noticed that Gaku had come back from the kitchen. “Uh, not sure.”

Gaku sat down next to him, his expression quizzical. He placed a hand on Ryu’s knee. “Are you alright? You seem a bit off.”

It felt as if Gaku’s hand had sent a jolt of electricity through his body, and he let out what he hoped was an inaudible gasp. “Um, y-yeah, I’m fine! It’s just been a long day.” Ryu looked at the television screen and scrolled over to a random movie. “How about this one?”

Gaku looked at the television screen, removing his hand from Ryu’s knee to unbox some of the food and grab himself a beer. “Well, I can’t say that I’ve seen this one. Does it work for you?”

“Yeah, sure!” Ryu pressed play, finished off his first beer, then grabbed some of the food that Gaku had slid over to him.

After another beer, and about halfway through the movie, Ryu started to relax a little. The movie he chose was absolutely awful, even by Ryu's standards. It was some B-level horror that was so cheesy that it wasn't scary at all. But it seemed to have worked out well, allowing him and Gaku to make easy jokes about the acting and the costumes. The food was delicious, and between the two of them, it looked like there weren’t going to be any leftovers. If this was all that there was to this ‘date,’ Ryu thought he could handle it.

Once the movie was over, Ryu stretched and sighed, slightly buzzed. “That was good!”

Gaku scoffed, pulling out his phone. “You’d watch a movie about paint drying and say that.”

Ryu laughed lightly. “Maybe…”

“Look at this,” Gaku said, sliding over so that their legs and hips were touching. Ryu looked down and saw a picture of the three of them from one of their most recent photo shoots. “They turned out really well, didn’t they?”

“Yeah,” Ryu said, a bit too distracted by the unfamiliar touch. He couldn’t tell if Gaku did that on purpose or not. But he was pretty sure that Gaku wasn’t nearly as frazzled by it as he was.

Gaku lifted his gaze to look at Ryu. “You look especially stunning.”

Ryu shook his head, cheeks flushed. “No, you two are the ones who always look amazing!”

"Oh yeah?" Gaku asked, his voice lower than before. He moved even closer, one arm on the backrest behind Ryu. “How do I look now?”

Ryu lost his breath, unable to answer Gaku's question as he kept getting closer. Was this it? Was it happening? His mouth went dry.

Before Gaku could close the gap, Ryu turned his head away. He couldn’t do it. “Sorry, sorry, I — ”

Gaku paused for a moment, looking at Ryu, an expression on his face that he couldn’t read. Then Gaku shook his head, eyebrows raised with a smile appearing on his face. “No, no, it’s fine.” He grabbed the remote from off of the table. “I have another idea. Do you have time to stay for another movie?”

Ryu felt terrible. He was so,  _ so _ embarrassed and ashamed. He wanted nothing more than to disappear into the floor. Or leave. But he couldn’t do that to Gaku. He was being so kind about it, taking it in stride. So he should do the same. He grabbed a third beer. “Sure, yeah, I can watch another.”

“Alright. Get up.” Gaku stood, gesturing for him to do the same, while he was searching through the movies. Ryu was a little confused, but he stood, wondering where this was going.

Gaku spent a little while scrolling before stopping on a new movie. Then he took Ryu’s spot on the couch, scooching into the back corner, stretching his legs out and spreading them apart. He patted the space between on the couch. “Sit?”

Before he could think too hard about it, Ryu sat down. He felt Gaku’s hand on his shoulder pulling him back a little. Ryu leaned back but Gaku quickly stopped him. “Maybe scoot a little further down, I’m about to get a faceful of your hair.” Ryu could hear the smile in his voice.

Ryu complied, and when he leaned back into Gaku for the second time, he was able to rest himself fully on Gaku’s chest, his head at Gaku’s shoulder. Gaku wrapped his couchside arm around Ryu’s waist. “Is this okay?”

Ryu’s heart was beating fast. He nodded. He was  _ very  _ aware of all the places that they were touching. Gaku played the movie, shifted slightly and sighed softly, which reminded Ryu that he should probably breathe at some point. So he took a big breath in and then out, attempting to slow his heart rate.

The next movie was a romantic comedy of some kind, but Ryu wasn’t able to get a good grasp on the plot; every time Ryu got to the point where he wasn’t hyper-aware of  _ what _ was touching  _ where _ , Gaku would move, his thumb rubbing Ryu’s stomach (which made him shiver), his hand readjusting on Ryu’s arm or shoulder, or to take a sip of his beer — and would effectively send Ryu’s attention away from the movie again. He liked it, but he worried that he liked it too much. Being touched felt so nice. He didn’t realize how badly he missed it… how sensitive he had become. 

He was eventually able to relax into it a bit, slowly releasing the tension in his muscles. The beer probably helped him a little, quieting his mind.

A few moments later, Gaku’s hand found its way to Ryu’s hair, combing through it slowly. Ryu sighed audibly, his head falling back and his eyes closing. “Finally comfortable?” Gaku asked, his voice tickling Ryu’s ear.

“Don’t stop,” he replied. 

Gaku hummed, and continued to pet his head. It felt amazing. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had done this. He felt like he could melt. 

...

“Ryu,” came Gaku softly. 

Ryu started. It was quiet, the movie must have been over. “What time is it?”

“Around 10:30. You fell asleep.”

Ryu sat up, a little groggy. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to!”

“Don’t worry about it. You’re really cute when you sleep. I could almost imagine what you looked like as a kid.”

Unsure of how to respond, Ryu just watched as Gaku stretched out his stiff limbs. “Was I heavy?”

“No. Heavier than Tenn, but not too heavy. It felt nice. I might have fallen asleep too if I didn’t like watching you so much.”

Ryu looked away, smiling. “I, uh, I should probably get a taxi.”

“Yeah. But before you do, I have something for you.” 

Ryu watched, curious, as Gaku disappeared into his room. When he returned, he was holding a small box. He sat down next to Ryu, handing it to him. “Here.”

“What is it?” Ryu asked, gently taking the box. It was thin and about the length of his hand.

“A gift.”

“But, I — ”

“You didn’t need to bring me one. I did this for you. Because I wanted to.”

“But — ”

“Just accept it, Ryu. Please.”

Ryu sighed, and smiled. “Thank you.”

“Go on and open it already!” Gaku scooted closer, clearly excited.

Ryu looked down at the small box, and lifted the lid slowly. Inside, he found three bracelets. The first one was made of thick strands of dark brown leather, tightly braided together. The next one had opaque blue and black beads, with three carved silver ones towards the center. The last one was made of dark blue woven leather, and looked long enough to wrap around the wrist several times. On one end of the bracelet was a loop, while on the other rested a silver pendant in the shape of an anchor.

“Gaku,” Ryu breathed. “These are beautiful.”

Gaku was grinning, reaching for the bracelets. “Want help putting them on?”

Ryu nodded, holding out his wrist. Gaku put on each bracelet slowly, wrapping the last one around his wrist three times before slipping the anchor into the loop. “Do you like them?”

“Yes, I love them, they’re perfect!” Ryu couldn’t help but smile. The level of care that Gaku must have put into picking these out made Ryu’s chest swell with warmth — it felt so personal.

“Perfect on you.”

Ryu pulled Gaku into a hug. He said so many embarrassing things, Ryu couldn’t handle it. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” Gaku said softly, holding him tightly.

“They weren’t too expensive, were they?”

“You’re not allowed to ask that. It’s been forbidden!”

… 

As they were saying their goodbyes at the door, Gaku made sure to tell Ryu to not try to pay him back or get him a gift in return.

“Why not?” Ryu asked, confused.

“This is just how I show I care,” Gaku said, placing a hand on his neck. “It’s not meant as something to prompt a similar action in return. You already show me that you care in so many other ways.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can see it in the way you look at me, in the things you say, in the things you don’t say.”

“But that can’t possibly — ”

“Just let me spoil you,” Gaku cut in firmly, a gentle smile on his face. “Let me spoil you, and don’t worry about it like you always do. You deserve it.”

Ryu was about to argue again, but Gaku cut him off, saying goodnight while pushing him out the door. Ryu decided not to fight any longer, allowing Gaku to push him towards his taxi. He said goodnight and headed home, feeling the patterns and textures on his new bracelets the whole ride back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry for the late update! Time goes by too fast!  
> Gaku is really excited to spoil his boyfriends and shower them in love, but the other two make it so hard...  
> I feel like Ryu's family was super into physical affection (which is why he's seen starting group hugs and being comfortable with things like that). But his transition from so much physicality at home to next to nothing for years while working as an idol had a... toll. Babe is touch-starved ;-;  
> Only one more chapter to post after this one, I hope y'all are excited for the conclusion :)  
> Another thank you to my beta readers, and those of you who leave kudos and comments! I appreciate it soo much!  
> Here are some reference images I used for Ryu's bracelet if you're having a hard time picturing what I was going for:  
> [A](https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/1768/9665/products/THX28-mens-bracelet-stack-blue-leather-anchor-tigers-eye-bon-voyage-tribal-hollywood_1024x1024.png?v=1555708793)  
> [B](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn%3AANd9GcSJLFFFzwm89dO7AxnaM78J66TgnLRvyQsaeYZ3CW3sj_FXPR3j&usqp=CAU)  
> [C](https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/1864/3915/products/blue-tiger-eye-bracelet-in-925-silver-premium_1000x.jpg?v=1585472281)  
> [D](https://4a25d300e41a4d7bfd6a-a951a5d348cb748336567bc4a32c7f31.ssl.cf2.rackcdn.com/product-hugerect-560399-145708-1440951951-8afde97f5441a21d47656815d76c77a6.jpg)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *NSFW WARNING* Things may get... a little steamy, but not *too* steamy. But here's a little preemptive warning!  
> Includes:  
> -Nipple play  
> -General groping  
> -Mentions of erections

The next few weeks were very busy for TRIGGER, but especially Ryu. He felt like all he was doing was working out, filming for his drama, going on shows to promote said drama, and trying to keep up with learning the choreography to their newest song. What little spare time Ryu had never lined up with the other two, so he didn’t get to see Tenn or Gaku outside of work. What little he did see of them, though, he enjoyed. He could talk to them again without feeling like he was being left out, or that he was missing something. The secret looks that Gaku and Tenn used to only give each other were now also shared with Ryu. 

They also texted a lot more than they used to, which helped Ryu feel less lonely. It was always about the mundane, never mentioning anything specific to the change in their relationship, but Ryu didn’t care. He was happy to talk to them about anything.

Late into the third week after his night with Gaku, Anesagi sent out their finalized schedule for the next few weeks, only partially apologizing for the delay (it wasn’t her fault, since, in her words, “some idiot from another agency has the coordination abilities of a colorblind single dad dressing himself on a tropical vacation”). Ryu made sure to thank her and quickly opened the document.

They all had an evening off next week.

Ryu celebrated internally as he opened TRIGGER’s group chat, ready to text them immediately, but he’d been beaten to the punch.

_Gaku: Hangout on Saturday?_

_Ryu: Yeah!_

_Tenn: As long as it's at Ryu’s._

_Gaku: ...why?_

_Tenn: Your place is boring -_-_

_Gaku:_

_Ryu: I don’t mind ^-^_

_Tenn:_

Ryu was excited to finally have plans with them outside of work again. That week, his energy level skyrocketed, and work felt like a breeze. Once home for the evening, he focused on thoroughly cleaning different sections of his apartment. He wanted the place to look nice when they came over, and he’d been slacking on his chores the past few days. He also spent a lot of time trying to figure out what they should do together. While he enjoyed watching movies with Gaku, he didn’t think that would work well with all three of them since Tenn had a very specific taste in movies. Any sort of games they played were usually with IDOLiSH7, and were never something they ever did as a trio. Ryu tried to think of some of the games he played with his friends at home, but somehow strip rock-paper-scissors didn’t feel quite appropriate either. Eventually he asked them point-blank what they’d like to do, which also proved unhelpful, neither of them having a specific suggestion. Gaku ended up telling Ryu not to worry about it, that they would figure it out when they met.

The morning of their get-together (date?), Ryu went for his usual run and follow-up workout session. Then, he showered and headed to his all-day film session. As chance would have it, they sent Ryu home early that day, giving him more time than he thought he’d have before Tenn and Gaku would arrive, so he stopped by the store to get a few groceries. They had agreed to meet after dinner, so Ryu hadn’t planned on making something for them at first. But because he had the extra time, he thought it might be a nice surprise. Ryu also hadn’t forgotten about the awkward moment he had with Gaku, so he wanted to do something extra nice for them to hopefully make up for it.

He couldn’t understand why he had reacted the way he did. It wasn’t as if Gaku had caught him by surprise. Gaku had confessed his feelings, and they had been together on a date. It made sense. It was the logical next step. Ryu had expected it—hell, in the time before their date, he had actually looked forward to it. But when it was about to happen—when Gaku was about to _kiss_ him — Ryu froze. He panicked, in the same way he always did when a fan got inappropriate with him. But this felt worse, because it was Gaku he did it to. Not a stranger. Not someone he didn’t like. _Gaku_. 

And he couldn’t figure out why he did it.

He hoped more than anything that he didn’t hurt Gaku. 

Had Gaku told Tenn about what happened?

As soon as he got home, Ryu went straight to work in the kitchen. He pulled up the recipe he’d found earlier. He hadn’t ever made these before, so he hoped it would turn out well. He had a little trouble mixing the dough, and it had definitely made a bigger mess in the kitchen than he’d anticipated. Once it had approached what he hoped to be a decent consistency, he set it aside to rise. 

In the meantime, he carefully heated up the chocolate chips so as not to scald them and washed and dried some strawberries. Once the dough rose, he did his best to divide and shape the dough evenly, with partial success. Then came the frying, which turned into a bit of a nightmare. The oil was too hot at first, and he ended up burning a few. But eventually, he wound up with a batch that he was satisfied with. 

Once he finished cooking, he was out of pans and covered in sweat and flour. 

Ryu didn’t have much time before they were supposed to arrive, and he wanted to look presentable. So, he took a quick shower to freshen up and spent a little too much time laboring over what he should wear, deciding on a v-neck and skinny jeans. He also put on the bracelets that Gaku had gotten him, struggling with closing the clasps with one hand. He made sure to brush his teeth thoroughly, and applied some chapstick… just in case. 

He was plating the food when a knock came at the door. “Coming!” He yelled. He quickly brought his finished creations to the table in front of his television and went to the door.

“Hey,” Gaku said, with Tenn smiling behind him.

“Hi!” Ryu’s heart swelled up with warmth and excitement at the sight of them. “Come in.”

Tenn and Gaku paused at the entrance to take off their shoes and jackets. 

“How have you been?” Tenn asked.

“I’ve been good,” Ryu said as he took their jackets and hung them up. “Super busy. I haven’t done much of anything outside of work.”

Gaku pulled Ryu into a quick hug. “Well, we’ve missed you.” Gaku traced his hand down Ryu’s arm, grabbing his wrist to look at the bracelets, a very satisfied expression on his face. “These look so good on you. Have you seen them yet, Tenn?”

Tenn took Ryu’s hand, turning it around to examine the jewelry. “They’re very nice. Do you like them?”

“I do. Very much.”

“Good. Gaku was so excited that he wouldn’t stop sending me pictures and talking about them. I’m surprised he didn’t accidentally tell you.”

“If I’m _that_ annoying, then maybe I won’t tell you anything anymore,” Gaku said, pouting half-heartedly.

“So dramatic.” Tenn rolled his eyes and turned to Ryu. “Did he tell you what he got me?”

Ryu shook his head. Tenn tugged lightly on a thin silver chain around his neck, pulling it out from under the oversized sweater he was wearing. He took a step closer to show him the three pendants hanging from it. The first one looked like a pearl. The next one was a small silver feather, and the last was a pink gem of some sort. It looked delicate, perfectly suiting Tenn’s pale skin. “It’s beautiful. What kind of gem is the pink one?”

“It’s a diamond,” Tenn said.

“It looks perfect on you!”

“Thank you,” he replied, tucking it back under his sweater. Then he gave Ryu a smirk. “Do you want to know what Gaku told me when he gave it to me?”

“Tenn, c’mon!” Gaku cried, cringing slightly.

“He told me that the feather was in reference to my ‘angel’ nickname. And then he said that I was _his_ angel now.”

Tenn snickered, and Ryu couldn’t help but smile a little as Gaku’s face flared up and he folded his arms together, huffing. Gaku was cute when he blushed; practically his whole face would change color. “And I’ve regretted saying it ever since!” 

Tenn placed his hands on Gaku’s chest and stood on his tiptoes to catch Gaku’s gaze. “No, you haven’t.” He then placed a quick kiss on Gaku’s lips and snuck further into Ryu’s apartment before Gaku could grab him. “Are those doughnuts?”

Ryu turned, and gestured for Gaku to come further into his apartment. “Yeah!”

“And chocolate-covered strawberries?” Gaku added as he moved to Ryu’s couch.

Tenn sat down in the middle of the couch, eyeing the desserts. “Where did you get them? They look homemade.”

“Oh, well, I made them. So, that’s probably why...” Ryu said, a little self-conscious of their appearance.

“You made them?” Gaku asked, eyebrows raised as he sat next to Tenn.

“Yeah. I got out of work early today, and it felt a little weird not having something for you to eat when you came over, you know?” He decided to leave out that they were also an apology for previously rejecting Gaku’s advances.

“That’s sweet,” Tenn said.

“Incredibly,” Gaku agreed.

Ryu sat down on the other side of Tenn and watched as he picked up one of the larger doughnuts and took a big bite out of it. He sighed happily. “It’s so good!”

“I’m glad,” Ryu said. “I haven’t tried them yet.”

“You haven’t? Here.” Tenn offered Ryu a bite from his doughnut. 

Ryu accepted, letting Tenn feed him. They tasted a lot better than he’d expected. “Not bad!”

“Let me try a bite,” Gaku said, reaching for Tenn’s doughnut.

Tenn pulled the treat from Gaku’s reach. “No, get your own!”

“Why does Ryu get a bite and I don’t?” 

“‘Cause.” Tenn took another bite of the doughnut, unable to hold back a smile.

Gaku gave a short, grumpy sigh. “I should’ve gotten you a collar that said ‘Brat’ on it.”

“Get yourself a muzzle instead!”

“Oh, you would like that, wouldn’t—”

“Guys!” Ryu cried, looking at the two of them worriedly. They hadn’t argued in a while.

“Sorry,” Gaku mumbled, reaching for a strawberry.

“Yeah, sorry,” Tenn paused, eyes glinting, “Gaku’s just really pent-up is all…”

“Tenn, I swear to God—”

Tenn laughed and Ryu felt the tension in the air immediately fade. Ryu hardly ever heard Tenn laugh genuinely, but when he did, it was spellbinding. His nose wrinkled, his eyes lit up, and the sound itself was heavenly. He loved seeing Tenn like this, and from the way that Gaku’s shoulders relaxed and his face softened, he must’ve felt the same.

They spent the next part of their evening eating the treats Ryu had made and catching up after being apart for so long. Gaku brought a bottle of expensive champagne that he and Ryu shared. Ryu wasn’t a wine fan, but this one tasted good to him. He forced himself to stop drinking after the bottle was empty, more for Tenn’s sake than his own. After all, Tenn always talked about how unmanageable the two got when they were drunk.

As the night continued, Gaku and Tenn got into another silly argument, but this one led into a small wrestling match between the two of them on the couch. Eventually, Gaku ended up next to Ryu with his back facing him. He was on top of Tenn, but Tenn was clearly not planning on giving in any time soon. Having seen his brothers wrestle like this hundreds of times, Ryu knew that this could only lead to an injury if they kept going. “Hey, guys, maybe we should stop before someone gets hurt?”

Tenn and Gaku paused, breathing heavily, staring intently at each other. 

Suddenly, they both leaned in, their lips pressing together, hard. One of Tenn’s hands moved to grip the hair on the back of Gaku’s neck, and Gaku grabbed Tenn’s other hand, firmly pressing it into the couch. 

Ryu just stared, wide eyed, in shock. This is definitely _not_ how his brothers’ wrestling matches ended up. 

“I’m gonna get drunk just by kissing you,” Tenn said sourly in one of the short moments they pulled away from each other.

“I’m barely even buzzed, don’t be dramatic,” Gaku almost growled back.

It seemed like they were still grappling for control while they kissed. It wasn’t quite angry, but it was certainly aggressive, fervent. Almost like they were fighting in each moment to prove who could be more passionate. They weren't the best at expressing verbally how much they cared for each other. Was this how they made up for all the words that their egos wouldn’t allow them to say? 

Regardless, they looked absolutely fantastic, _perfect_ , doing it, and Ryu realized that he found it incredibly attractive to watch. 

Almost immediately, though, he was hit with a pang of discomfort, and he turned his head away, beginning to wonder why he was still there. He felt like he was intruding on something incredibly intimate, something he shouldn’t see. 

He didn’t belong here. 

Right when he had convinced himself to try to sneak away, half-formed excuses about washing dishes and wrapping leftovers heavy on his tongue, he felt a hand on his knee.

"Ryu," Gaku said. Ryu turned and saw that Gaku was now sitting up and facing him, his lids low as he examined him. Ryu noticed that Tenn was propped up on his elbows, his mouth slightly open and lips a bright pink, watching the two of them. 

Gaku put a hand on Ryu's cheek, which sent a shiver down his spine. Gaku began leaning his head in, his lips parting slightly and his eyes closing. Gaku was trying to kiss him again. He didn’t want to stop Gaku for a second time. He couldn’t. Not while he’s been so kind, so patient. So what if Ryu felt a little uneasy? He wanted this, right? Why, _why_ was he tensing up? 

Ryu shut his eyes tight, determined not to disappoint Gaku again. He waited for Gaku to finish closing the gap.

And he kept waiting.

But nothing happened. 

Ryu opened his eyes slowly. Gaku had pulled away and was watching Ryu, his expression having completely transformed. He looked upset.

“Why?” he asked quietly. “Why won’t you kiss back?”

Before Ryu could say anything, Gaku stood, marching out of the room. “Gaku?” Ryu looked to Tenn, who didn’t meet his gaze as he got up to follow Gaku. Ryu stood, chasing after the two of them. There weren’t many rooms in his apartment to storm off to, so they ended up in Ryu’s bedroom, Gaku standing in the far corner facing away from him, while Tenn stood at the entrance.

“Gaku?” Ryu tried again, standing at the doorway.

Gaku whipped around. “Do you want this?”

Ryu didn’t get the chance to respond before Gaku spoke again.

“Do you want us that way? Do you even _like_ us like that at all?”

“O—of course I do!”

“Then why does it feel like you hate it when I touch you?”

“That’s not—”

“Why do you react like I’m one of the perverted fans that you can’t protect yourself from?” 

Ryu was stunned, speechless. His mouth was open, but no words were coming out.

Gaku grew quieter, the anger previously in his voice beginning to dissipate. “I can’t bear the thought of you doing this just because we want you to! I can’t stand to think that you’re too nice to say no.”

At that, Gaku turned to the side, quickly wiping at his cheek. 

Ryu stepped further into his room, standing at the foot of his bed. He _hated_ seeing Gaku cry. “I—I do want this,” he stammered.

“Then what is it?”

“I—”

“Christ, Ryu, say something!”

“I—” Ryu clenched his fists, “I just don’t get it!” He burst out. He sighed frustratedly, sitting down on the end of his bed, putting his face in his hands.

“Don’t get what?” Tenn asked. Ryu heard him stepping further into the room.

He couldn’t look at them when he said it. Things _weren’t_ working like this. They both knew something was wrong. He took a deep breath. “I don’t get why you two want… _me_. It just doesn’t make sense.”

There was a long pause after that. Ryu wanted to retract the statement. He wished he’d never said it.

He heard Gaku move closer to him. “What do you mean? Why doesn’t it make sense?”

Ryu slowly removed his face from his hands, staring down at them as he spoke. “Before you told me, I spent a lot of time trying to be okay with you two being together. And for so many reasons, it _hurt_. So, when you told me that… that you also had feelings for me, it didn’t feel real. It felt like a dream.

“The longer I had to think about it, the more I felt the dream falling apart around me. The two of you are _amazing._ You’re the most beautiful people I’ve ever met, and the talent you have in everything you do is something that I could only hope to reach,” Ryu looked up at them. “You’re both perfect. And you’re perfect together. You two make sense. And I… there was _no_ way that I could see myself fitting into that. There’s no way I could _ever_ compare. I could never come close.”

“Ryu—” Gaku tried to cut in, but Ryu gestured for him to stop. If he didn’t say it now, he wasn’t sure if he could ever bring himself to again. 

“But I didn’t want the dream to end. So, I didn’t ask why, and I tried to push down those thoughts. But each time you tried to take it further, I freaked out. I freaked out, because I was worried you wanted something from me that I couldn’t give. That you saw something in me that I didn’t have. Because that’s the only way it made sense for you to want me back.”

Tears overwhelmed Ryu’s vision. “The—uh, the only other reason I could come up with was that you felt sorry for me? And the _last_ thing I want is for you two to do this because you feel badly,” he swallowed. “If that _is_ the reason, please, _please_ don’t worry about me. I promise that I will be okay.”

That last part might have sounded convincing, if it weren’t for the tears streaming down his cheeks.

The silence that passed was expansive. The only sounds Ryu could hear were his sniffles as he waited. His hands were shaking. His dream was _crumbling_.

Suddenly he felt a hard smack on the back of his head. “Ow,” Ryu said, rubbing the newly-formed sore spot, and looked up.

Gaku stood over him, annoyance written on his features. “I always knew you were a bit of a meathead, but I guess I underestimated how far gone you really are…”

Tenn stepped forward, also bonking Ryu on the head, although significantly lighter than Gaku had. “I can’t believe that you think _I_ would stoop so low as to offer my affection to someone I pity.” He paused, tilting Ryu’s chin up so that their gazes met. “But what’s worse is how little you think of yourself.”

Ryu cast his gaze down and Tenn let his chin go. Ryu sniffed again and wiped his eyes, no words of defense coming to mind.

“Ryu,” Tenn continued, “you are the kindest person I’ve ever met. I look at you and wonder how anyone could have a heart as big as yours. You see the best in everyone you meet, and you’re always ready to be there if someone needs help. I don’t think that I’ve ever seen you be selfish for one moment in all the years that I’ve known you. I could never say any of those things about myself. I honestly don’t know how it’s possible for someone like you to exist, considering how terrible the world can be. And I admire you so much for that.”

“Being with you is like being home,” Gaku added. “I’ve never felt more comfortable or more accepted than when I’m around you. And I have no idea what you mean when you say you're not as talented. You’re an incredible dancer and singer. And don’t get me started on how gorgeous and sexy you are!”

“But I’m not, though!” Ryu countered. “I’m not sexy at all! That’s just an act!”

“I’m not talking about your persona, I’m talking about _you_!”

Ryu stared at Gaku, floored.

“We’ve known you long enough to know you’re not who you are on stage,” Tenn said, sitting down on the bed next to Ryu. “We’re not fans. We’re not expecting you to be something you’re not.”

“We want to be with the real you,” Gaku said firmly.

Ryu paused. He knew it was ridiculous to think that Gaku and Tenn only saw him for his image. But it was a whole lot easier to understand why they would want him if they were after the brazen, wild, utterly fake version of himself. That’s all that most people saw, and that’s definitely all most people lusted after. 

He would be a disappointment to any of those people, and sometimes, he disappointed himself for not actually _being_ what they wanted. Sometimes, he felt ashamed for the things _he_ wanted because they went entirely against everything that made him ‘desirable.’

“I’ve never been in a relationship before,” Ryu said, deciding to come as clean as possible. Just to make sure they knew what they were getting into—to make sure that this was what they really wanted. “And I’ve never actually kissed anyone outside of dramas either.”

“We don’t care about that,” Tenn said, a hand on Ryu’s knee.

“We care about you,” Gaku added, placing his hand on Ryu’s cheek, “and whether or not this is something you actually want.”

“I do,” Ryu said, closing his eyes and letting himself lean into Gaku’s hand. He put his hand on top of Tenn’s, and let himself picture it, really picture it. The three of them together. As they were. As he was. Without the caveats, without a different, better, _sexier_ version of himself. “I want to be with you two. I—I’ve never felt this way before.”

Gaku brushed his thumb along Ryu’s cheek, and Tenn turned his hand so that he could lace his fingers with Ryu’s. Ryu sighed.

“Then that’s all that matters,” Gaku murmured. 

Ryu had done it. He had laid out all of his anxieties, all of his alternative explanations, and all of his arguments against himself. He gave them a chance to leave, to back out before they had gone too far. And they were _still_ here. Ryu couldn’t think of any other reason as to why they would be other than that they actually _wanted_ to be. All he could do now was trust them, _believe_ them,— and that somehow felt scarier than it should’ve been. “Okay.”

“Promise me one thing,” Tenn said. Ryu opened his eyes and looked at Tenn, noticing that his expression had turned dark. “Don’t _ever_ let us do something you don’t want to do.”

Gaku grabbed Ryu’s chin, turning it so that he was facing him. “You have just as much of a say as either of us. You don’t like something? You tell us. You want something? Say so. You are allowed to say no. _Never_ force yourself to do something you’re even slightly uncomfortable with. Do you understand?”

The combination of their words and expressions sent a rush through Ryu. They sounded like they were giving him orders, their faces serious, and Gaku’s grip on his chin firm. He nodded.

“You promise?”

Ryu cared for the two of them _so_ much, and he wanted nothing more than to make them happy. To _please_ them. 

And they wanted to make sure he had a voice. Just the thought made him want to cry again. How could he say no? “I promise.”

“Good,” Gaku said with a smile, releasing his chin and leaning down. “Now, what do you want?”

Gaku was so close, his hair falling around his face as he looked down at Ryu. Ryu’s heart skipped a beat at Gaku’s proximity, at what he was suggesting. He looked down to Gaku’s lips, a soft pink standing out remarkably against his pale skin, then back up to his eyes.

“Do you want me to kiss you?” Gaku asked, clearly noticing where Ryu’s gaze had wandered to.

“Yes,” Ryu said breathlessly.

“Then say it, with words.”

Ryu felt Tenn give his hand a squeeze, the last bit of courage he needed. “Kiss me!”

Ryu could feel Gaku's breath on his face, they were _so_ close. Ryu was going to implode if something didn't happen. He felt like he was going to burn up, he knew his face must have been bright red. But Gaku wasn't moving any closer. 

"Say it again," Gaku whispered, and Ryu could practically feel the movements of his lips as he spoke. 

Ryu would have thought Gaku was trying to tease him, but his expression was so sincere, so desperate, that Ryu was convinced it was all Gaku would ever want him to say again.

"Kiss me," Ryu said. He would say it as many times as Gaku needed, until he never doubted how much Ryu wanted him, wanted them, wanted _this_ , again. "Kiss me. Kiss m—"

Gaku's mouth quickly claimed Ryu's with a force that was overwhelming, his hand coming up to hold the back of Ryu’s neck. Ryu's mind immediately went blank, absolutely melting into all of Gaku's sure movements as a rush of heat traveled through his body. Ryu was breathless and lightheaded, and he couldn't tell if it was because he desperately needed oxygen or if Gaku was driving him this crazy _this_ quickly. 

Between kisses Gaku whispered words of affirmation to him. "You're so beautiful. You taste so good. You're so _good_ , Ryu." 

That last one made Ryu moan before Gaku captured his mouth again. Ryu let Gaku pull him apart, losing himself in the moment. It was better than he ever could have imagined.

But all too suddenly, and all too soon, Gaku began pulling away. Ryu opened his eyes, barely able to hold back a whine at the loss. He saw Tenn’s hand on Gaku's shoulder, tugging him away from Ryu. "My turn," Tenn said to Gaku, stealing a short kiss from him before turning to Ryu.

Gaku sat at Ryu’s other side as Tenn scooted in closer, standing on his knees so that he could look down at Ryu. He combed his hands through Ryu’s hair, his eyes traveling up and down his face, studying him. Then, Tenn’s hands traveled down to cup Ryu’s face, and one of his thumbs brushed over Ryu’s lips. Ryu opened his mouth slightly and gasped. Gaku had left Ryu breathless, and he could only imagine how wanton his gaze was. “Tenn…” he whispered.

Tenn leaned down, placing a quick, chaste kiss on Ryu’s lips before pulling away slightly. He did this several more times, leaving Ryu to chase after him. After the third or fourth time that Tenn pulled away as Ryu eagerly followed, he could feel Tenn grin slightly against his lips before finally deepening the kiss. Ryu hummed happily, and Tenn’s arms wrapped around Ryu’s neck. Ryu tried to place his hand on the small of Tenn's back, but Tenn quickly grabbed his arm and pushed it back down to his side. Tenn pulled away just long enough to say, "No touching."

Ryu obeyed, deciding to save his questions for later. Instead, he felt Gaku pull Ryu’s hand up and place small kisses along his knuckles, slowly traveling up his hand to his arm. Tenn’s tongue brushed against Ryu's lips, slowly guiding Ryu's tongue into his mouth. He felt a small sigh as he explored the inside of Tenn’s mouth. Tenn eagerly opened wider, and Ryu brushed past his teeth before colliding with Tenn's tongue again. Tenn sucked on Ryu's tongue and he groaned in response to the new sensation.

Tenn pulled away, making a wet smacking noise as he did. He paused a moment to wipe the spit off of his chin, staring at Ryu with half-lidded eyes. Ryu felt embarrassment flare up in his chest, immediately worrying about his lack of skill. His mind flashed back to a particularly exasperated costar who all but tore Ryu apart on set for how sloppy of a kiss he was. Before he could begin apologizing, Tenn leaned down to Ryu’s jaw and began lining it with kisses, drawing light gasps from Ryu instead. 

As Tenn worked down Ryu's neck, his hands slowly wandered about Ryu's chest and stomach. Soon, he began tugging at the hem of his shirt. "Can we take this off?"

Ryu nodded, afraid his voice might fail him. He never wanted this to stop. He wanted them to touch him _everywhere_. He lifted his arms and Tenn guided Ryu's shirt over his head.

Ryu was shirtless often. He had mostly gotten used to his body being on display for everyone. And often, he didn’t mind it. After all, he put so many hours into the gym that it felt good to have people notice. But sometimes, when he thought about it too long, it began to make him feel gross. 

Right now, though, he didn't feel gross or used to it at all. He almost felt shy, wanting to cover his chest back up with the shirt that was still in Tenn’s hands. He wasn't sure where to look as he felt their eyes on him. Both of them had seen Ryu shirtless countless times (like the rest of the world), but it felt… _different_ this time.

Ryu felt Gaku’s hand on his arm and he looked up. "Are you alright?" He asked. 

Ryu nodded, not quite sure how to explain how he was feeling without it sounding totally ridiculous. It wasn't bad. It…

"It feels different, right?" Tenn said quietly, almost to himself, balling and unballing Ryu's shirt in his hands, his eyes not quite meeting Ryu's. "You feel _seen_ differently." His voice grew smaller. "A good different." 

Ryu smiled at Tenn, and his heart ached for him a little. He knew very little about Tenn's home life, but he could imagine how devoid of warmth it was. This was probably very new for him, too. 

Ryu resisted the urge to pull Tenn close and shower him in the affectionate words he rarely heard, but he knew Tenn wouldn’t be too comfortable with that. Instead, he grabbed his shirt from Tenn's hands and tossed it to the other side of the room near his hamper. "Yes. A _very_ good different," he confirmed, looking meaningfully at Tenn, then to Gaku.

Ryu noticed a small blush dusting Tenn's cheeks, but Tenn quickly turned his attention back to his previous ventures at Ryu's neck, and Gaku took Tenn’s place at Ryu's mouth, quickly and effectively overwhelming Ryu’s senses all over again. Gaku and Tenn's hands pawed at Ryu's bare chest and abs, which sent shivers down Ryu’s spine. 

Ryu ran his fingers through Gaku’s hair, it was so soft, softer than his own. Gaku hummed against his lips. Tenn moved down, nibbling at Ryu's collarbone. It was _so_ much, he felt hot everywhere they touched him. 

Gaku pulled away and whispered, "I've always wanted to do this." He punctuated the end of his sentence by giving Ryu's chest an ample squeeze. Ryu squeaked in a rather undignified manner, and turned his head to the side, feeling his cheeks warm up at Gaku's words. But Gaku grabbed Ryu’s chin, guiding their lips back together. 

“Did you like that?” Tenn asked, brushing his fingers across Ryu’s chest.

Gaku pulled away slightly so Ryu could answer. He felt himself blushing even harder, but forced himself to answer the question, despite how terribly embarrassing it felt to do so. “Yes.”

“Do you want more?” Tenn’s eyes flashed down over Ryu’s chest before meeting his gaze again.

A very large part of Ryu really wished that they’d quit asking. That they just did what they wanted, what they thought _he_ wanted, because Ryu was almost positive that they knew. And it would save Ryu from having to admit to such embarrassing things. But considering the conversation they just had, he realized that his wants weren’t as easily understood as he first thought, and that they worried about walking all over him. 

So, he had to face the questions, and he had to answer them honestly. For himself, but also for them.

Once again, he forced himself to push through his embarrassment. “Yes.”

Tenn smiled, then began kissing a trail down Ryu’s chest.

“Thank you,” Gaku whispered into Ryu’s ear before moving lower to kiss his neck. Ryu sighed, closing his eyes.

Then, he felt Tenn’s mouth latch onto his chest, his tongue swirling around his nipple.

Ryu gasped loudly, his head falling back and his spine arching. "Ah, Tenn! They— they're—"

"Sensitive?" Gaku finished, grinning, pinching Ryu's other nipple between his fingers. Ryu only moaned in response. Gaku gently pushed Ryu back, guiding him to lie down on the bed. Once in place, Gaku joined Tenn at Ryu's chest, sucking on Ryu's other nipple. 

Ryu tried to cover his mouth with one of his hands to stifle the noises he was making, but Gaku pulled it away. With nowhere else to place his hands, Ryu gripped the sheets beneath him, hoping to ground himself somehow, but it didn't help much. His breathing was _wrecked_ , and he couldn’t stop the sounds he was making anymore. The noises coming from the other two were obscene, their lips smacking and sucking. Ryu dared to look at them, and was met with their gazes. They were watching him. Knowing that was almost too much and definitely too lewd. He shut his eyes tight, deciding not to question why he was equal parts embarrassed and turned on. 

Then he felt Tenn bite down. 

Ryu cried out, his hips jerking involuntarily. It was only then Ryu noticed how uncomfortably tight his jeans felt, how far gone he was just from this. If they didn't stop now, Ryu wasn't sure how much more he could take.

"Ah, guys! Hold—hold on a moment! Please!" Gaku and Tenn paused, looking up at Ryu, their expressions slightly confused. Ryu just lied there for a moment, panting, trying to regain some composure, to reduce the fogginess in his head.

"What did you say?" Gaku asked.

As Ryu’s head cleared a little he looked up at the two of them. "What?"

"I think you were speaking Okinawan." Tenn said. 

"Oh. Sorry," he said between breaths, a small amount of embarrassment seeping in at his dialect lapse. "I—I needed to stop. Otherwise, I—" 

He definitely could _not_ finish that sentence. 

"Otherwise, what?" Gaku asked, a devilish grin spreading across his lips.

Ryu hid his face in his elbow groaning; it was too mortifying to say. 

Ryu heard a light smacking noise followed by Tenn speaking in a chastising tone. “Quit embarrassing him!”

“I’m not!” Gaku said at first. Then, Ryu felt a hand on his arm. “Ryu, I’m sorry. Stop hiding, you shouldn’t be embarrassed.”

Ryu shook his head.

“Really! It was incredibly attractive. _You_ are incredibly attractive. Your reactions, your sounds. You shouldn’t worry about hiding them.”

Ryu sighed. His face still felt like it was as hot as the sun.

“I loved it. I loved every second of it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.” 

Gaku tugged at Ryu’s arm and Ryu let him pull it away. Ryu looked at both of them shyly, unsure of what to say.

“Was it too much?” Tenn asked, his brow creased in concern. “I’m sorry, I think we got a little carried away.”

“No! No, don’t apologize! I asked for more! I wanted more!” Ryu paused, unable to find the right words to articulate what he wanted to say. “It was nice. It felt… good.”

Tenn visibly relaxed a little, and placed a hand on Ryu’s lower thigh, gently rubbing it. “Did you want to continue?”

Ryu hesitated. He wanted to, he _really_ wanted to. His body was practically screaming to be touched more. He craved it desperately. And there was no hiding the rather obvious tent in his pants. But somewhere inside of him he knew that they probably shouldn’t keep going. He had only _just_ built up the courage to ask them to kiss him. How was he supposed to handle asking for anything else? The thought itself was overwhelming.

“Um… I think that maybe we should stop.” He paused. “I’d like to get used to this a little bit more… before we do anything else.”

Tenn smiled and nodded. 

“Sounds perfect to me,” Gaku said, leaning down to Ryu, their lips meeting again. 

This time the kiss was much softer, each movement drawn out and meaningful. They still left Ryu breathless, with butterflies in his stomach. He felt Tenn lean down and turned his head to meet his lips, the kiss just as slow and sweet. He had never felt so warm, so reassured before. 

When they paused for air, Ryu whispered, “Could I go change? These jeans are _super_ uncomfortable.”

Gaku laughed and even Tenn giggled a little at that, and the two of them moved so that Ryu could get up. Ryu paused at the edge of the bed and turned. “Are you guys planning on leaving soon?”

“Not if you don’t want us to,” Tenn said, casting his eyes away, as if it was embarrassing for him to say. Gaku nodded in agreement.

Ryu smiled, putting a hand on his neck. “I’d like it a lot if you stayed longer.”

They both nodded, and Ryu went to his dresser, pulling out some sweatpants and a fresh pair of underwear. He left his room to go change, and when he came back, he paused in the doorway, looking at Tenn and Gaku lying on his bed. They were talking quietly to each other and smiling. It was amazing how natural their presence in his room—in his bed—felt. Almost as if they were always meant to be there.

Ryu would’ve been happy enough just standing there watching them talk all night, but Tenn quickly noticed him and called him back to the bed.

“What do you want to do now?” Gaku asked as Ryu climbed back on the bed next to Tenn.

“I dunno,” Ryu paused, “could we just… lay together for a little while?”

“Of course.”

“I’m not being in the middle though,” Tenn said, and began crawling over Ryu and pushing him towards the center of the bed.

“Why not?” Ryu asked, attempting to readjust the image he had in his head of how they might cuddle. He scooted himself to the center, letting Tenn sit on the outside of the bed.

“You’d have to really tire him out before he’d be willing to accept that much affection,” Gaku said snidely as he laid down on his side, his head propped up on his hand. Tenn wrinkled his face and stuck out his tongue in response.

Ryu thought for a moment. “Tenn does take compliments better after an exhausting live performance.”

“That wasn’t quite the workout I was referring to,” Gaku said, smirking.

“Oh,” Ryu said, his cheeks warming as he caught onto the innuendo. He didn’t dare look at Tenn, but he could imagine the expression he was giving Gaku.

"C'mere," Gaku said, patting the space next to him. Ryu laid down on his back, and Gaku pressed his body close to him. 

“Have you guys…” Ryu paused, trying to come up with the courage to finish the question, “done a lot of _that_ sort of stuff together?” He had been wondering for a while, but had been too nervous to ask. It was a sensitive question, and he wasn’t sure how much of that information he was entitled to. 

“What, sex?” Gaku asked, his eyebrows raised in amusement. His bluntness made Ryu cringe a little, and Gaku laughed. “Well, I wouldn’t say we’ve done it _a lot._ But, yeah, it’s happened a couple of times.”

Ryu nodded.

“Did you wanna know more?” he asked, smiling, his arm wrapping around Ryu’s waist. “Are you jealous?”

“What? No, I—” Ryu shook his head. “I dunno, I guess I wanted to—”

“Don’t ask Gaku for details, Ryu. He’ll definitely exaggerate some things,” Tenn said, making sure to roll his eyes.

“I wasn’t asking for details!” Ryu cried as Gaku scoffed at Tenn.

“I know, I know,” Tenn leaned down and snuggled close to Ryu, placing his head on Ryu's chest and intertwined their hands together. “Gaku was teasing you. But you shouldn’t worry about it, okay? There’s no need to.”

“You set the pace,” Gaku said, squeezing Ryu’s waist.

“Okay,” Ryu said. They were being _so_ careful with him, and he appreciated it even though it made him a little uncomfortable. He wasn’t used to it.

“However,” Gaku interjected, eyeing him slyly, “I _can’t_ wait to make you speak in tongues again.”

“ _Gaku…_ ” Ryu whined, his face heating up for what felt like the millionth time that night. However, he wasn’t quite embarrassed enough to miss the jolt of excitement he experienced at the thought of Gaku being eager to do things with him again soon.

“You know that at least _some_ of your thoughts should just stay in your head, right?” Tenn said agitatedly.

Gaku laughed at the both of them in a way that told Ryu he wasn’t remotely apologetic for the dismay he caused.

"I'm still honestly surprised that your first kiss was a stage kiss," Gaku said after a short pause, tracing shapes on Ryu’s shoulder.

Ryu shrugged, not wanting to think back to that cringe-inducing moment.

"It's not _that_ strange," Tenn grumbled.

"Wait," Gaku said perking up, "does that mean yours was a stage kiss, too?" 

Tenn didn't respond and attempted to bury his face into Ryu’s chest.

"Was I _both_ of you guys' first real kiss?!"

Ryu considered mentioning the time he’d kissed a friend as a kid, but quickly decided that it didn’t count. He had only been eight, after all, and he’d done it on a dare.

"Don't let it go to your head, idiot," Tenn responded quickly, his voice slightly muffled,before he lifted his head up again. "Besides, I _let_ you kiss Ryu first because you begged me to let you." Tenn's voice lowered as he whispered to Ryu, "He's a pervert like that and gets off knowing he's your first."

"I do not!" Gaku cried indignantly. "As if you would have initiated first, anyway! The two of you would've been stuck in a perpetual limbo if it were left up to you!"

"It's all for the better," Tenn said, seeming to have ignored Gaku entirely, "because I got to you after you had a little more practice."

Ryu laughed and shook his head, not sure how to respond to either of their antics.

Silence shortly fell over the three of them, and Ryu couldn’t stop thinking about how happy he was. He didn't realize how badly he needed it to happen. And it wasn't Tenn or Gaku—it was Tenn _and_ Gaku. He could have never hoped for something as incredible as this. He was awestruck when they’d first met, but he had tried his best to put his feelings aside. Not only were they his work partners, but they were experienced and talented. Ryu felt like a hapless, bumbling child in comparison. He was not on their level, and he certainly couldn’t bring them what his persona promised. 

But they weren’t after the man in the television dramas or the Thunder Dry commercials. _He_ was seen, and they still wanted him. They were both here, in his bed, holding him. 

He could feel that they cared for him. He could feel it in the tenderness of their touches, in the softness of their voices. And because of it, for a moment, he not only believed that their feelings for him were real (which was becoming a little easier to accept, all things considered), but he could feel a level of care for himself that he had never experienced before. He felt awestruck again, but for a whole new reason.

Tears sprang to his eyes and he squeezed them shut. He was _so_ grateful.

Eventually, Ryu could hear soft, even breaths coming from Tenn. Had he fallen asleep?

“Well, I guess we’re not leaving anytime soon,” Gaku said, reaching over to pet Tenn’s hair. Ryu had never seen such a gentle expression on Gaku’s face before. Ryu realized that he must really love Tenn. “He always works himself to exhaustion. Do you have any extra blankets?”

“Yeah, up in the closet,” Ryu said quietly.

Gaku silently got out of bed and pulled down several spare blankets and pillows. He covered Ryu and Tenn with one blanket, and put a pillow underneath Ryu’s head. Then he set up a pillow for himself, draped the last blanket over the bed, and crawled back in to join them. He leaned in and kissed Tenn on the head, then turned and kissed Ryu softly on the lips. “Goodnight, Ryu.”

“Goodnight,” Ryu said, never feeling happier that his bed was big enough to hold more than just one.

That night, Ryu’s apartment didn’t feel so lonely.

...

A few days later, Ryu was walking into TRIGGER’s dance studio again, heading to practice. Unlike before, there wasn’t a pit at the bottom of Ryu’s stomach. In fact, excitement had taken its place there as he looked forward to seeing his bandmates. His _partners_. 

He couldn’t stop thinking about their previous evening together. Gaku and Tenn had ended up spending the whole night with him. Tenn must have been exhausted, because he barely moved, clinging tightly to Ryu like a lifeline as he slept. Gaku was a little more restless, tossing and turning a little but always returning back to Ryu’s side to wrap an arm protectively around his waist. Ryu kept waking up periodically, checking on the two of them and reconfirming that this was, in fact, the reality he lived in. When Ryu did sleep, it was with a peace that he hadn’t had in a while. When they woke up the next morning, he made all of them breakfast, and his apartment was filled with joy and laughter.

Ryu opened the door to their practice room and saw that both Tenn and Gaku were already there. “Hey!” he said with a smile.

They both greeted Ryu, and he went to put down his things in the corner. He noticed that there was still only one other water bottle in the room. Ryu smiled to himself, pulling something out of his bag.

“How are you?” Tenn asked, walking over.

“I’m good,” Ryu said, turning to him, hiding the item behind his back. “I have a present for you.” 

“Oh?” Tenn said, tilting his head to the side.

“Well, it’s for both of you, but especially you, Tenn.”

Tenn smiled.

“Whatever it is, he doesn’t deserve it,” Gaku teased, walking over and nudging Tenn on the shoulder.

Tenn swatted at Gaku’s hand, then turned back to Ryu.“What is it?”

Ryu revealed the item he was holding behind him. It was a water bottle, but probably more than twice the size of Ryu’s old one. Upon noticing the confusion on Tenn’s face, Ryu explained the gift a little further. “You need to stay hydrated. I figured since you don’t like bringing your own water, I could always bring enough for the both of us.” He paused before adding, “Gaku can always have some, too, if he wants…”

Tenn shook his head in disbelief, and took the bottle with a small grin. “It’s huge.” He opened it and took a sip.

“He means thank you,” Gaku said.

“I was getting there!” Tenn shot back. He placed a hand on Ryu’s arm. “Thank you, Ryu. This is sweet. You’re always taking care of me.”

Ryu smiled, “No problem.”

The three of them shared a quiet moment, a silent look that spoke louder than words, before they began practice. 

Ryu danced with the freedom and vigor he never had before.

He was happy.

And for once, he wasn’t nervous about what was going to happen next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaand after an over 2-month hiatus (that was totally unintentional because I had the WHOLE thing written to avoid such a hiatus) here it is!! I really tried not to be one of those authors, I'm sorry >-<
> 
> I hope you all liked the ending! This entire fic came from a small idea I had where Gaku makes Ryu say he wants to be kissed. The show made it really obvious that Ryu has trouble saying no to people's sexual advances, despite how uncomfortable they made him. In a lot of ways, I felt that his struggles with this mirror the harassment/consent dilemmas that women face almost daily. Having a large, physically strong male character in what is typically seen as a "weak" and "feminine" (or as Gaku put it, a heroine) position like this is absolutely fascinating to me.  
> Ryu is my favorite character (although I really do love *all* of them so dearly), and I wanted him to learn that his feelings matter, that he has a say in what happens to his body, and he shouldn't push his discomfort aside for the sake of others.  
> Also this man is just *so* lonely (plz give him some friends. Gaku + Tenn plz hang out with him more I'm begging you he needs human connection he is all alone), and doesn't love himself nearly enough, so I wanted to fix that too! If I can't do it, then Gaku and Tenn can fill in for me lol!  
> Anyway, thank you so much for reading, commenting, and leaving kudos! And a final thank you to my beta readers, I couldn't have done it without you!


End file.
